Bad Week

This has been a bad week for me. I've burned once and cut twice. I want to do it again because I can't seem to calm down. I'm urgy, I want to go deeper. Being told I'm not good enough and that I need to be calm and happy doesn't help me. I know what I need but there isn't a smart way to go about it. I want to injure, to make the scream in my head go away. There comes a time when you have to give up, to let a part of yourself go forever. But I'm not ready to die, not yet.

Oh My Head

I have the worst headache right now. I want it to go away and, God help me, I have the worst idea of how to get rid of it. I know, logically, that hurting myself will not make the headache go away. But part of me wants to try. That thought is making me ill and desperate at the same time. It feels like my eye ball is trying to pop out of my damned head. There has to be some logical reason, there really has to be. I need there to be. Otherwise I'm going insane.