Bicycles and Taxes

I was thinking about this the other day and I have an idea. Part of a vehicle's yearly registration goes to maintaining the roadways. Most of my city's major roadways have a bike lane, which the cyclists do not have to pay for. Most of the people that ride bikes here do not own a car and therefore do not pay those fees for maintenance.

I think it would be a good idea for every one that owns a bicycle, that is over the age of twenty-one or eighteen, should pay a registration fee every year. My van costs me $80 a year, not including the smog check. I think a mere $20 a bicycle is fare. This would also mean that the same cyclists could potentially be ticketed for failure to stop at a light or sign, failure to signal properly and so on. Fees incurred could do wonders for a city's income and bottom line. As a driver and a bike owner, I would have to pay both fees and would willingly do so.

I wonder if I should bring this up to city counsel?

Breaking Point

I hate this job. I have to get the hell out of here before it kills me! Sitting in that damned chair being constantly told how many fucking mistakes I make is just too much! I injure almost daily, usually by picking or scratching at my wrists or backs of my hands. I'm becoming a wreck.

Every one has a breaking point and I am almost at mine. This place is beyond my breaking point. So instead of breaking I bend as far as I can using a blade to do it. All I want to do tonight is cut, to calm my brain. I fake the smile for my parents so they don't see how bad I'm doing. Of course they don't know I'm a cutter anyway so I guess it doesn't matter.

Therapy on Tuesday and I don't know how to say the things I think I need to. Is it all a waste or is the road just really slow?

Masquerade

"Hide your face, so the world will never find you."

A line from The Phantom of the Opera. Everyone is dressed in their finery and wearing masks. The Phantom sings it again near the end of the film. Lately, I feel like all I ever do is wear a mask, one so well designed that the world will never see me, never truly know me. People think that they know who I am and how I tick, what they really know is only what I have allowed them. I don't let people know too much about me because I know me... and I'm not a great soul to know. For goodness sake, I don't even say much to my therapist!

Its rather sad, in all reality. I wear a mask and lie. What am I to do when the mask is gone?

The Pay Off of Distractions

All right, so we all know I'm an injurer and injurers, when in a bad place, must have a distraction. Keeping the fingers busy on something else while in the middle of a battle with ourselves is really in the best interest. Every injurer that I know has at least one distraction, usually more then just one. Mine include some of the more popular ones such as knitting and writing. I also like to cross stitch. I finally finished one that I started in 2004. In my defense, I set it aside for several years and only recently picked it up again. Well, the work is now finished and I want to share it with everyone. Well, I would like to, but it appears the image is too large for this blog.

Its a geisha holding two fans while standing on a grassy hill under a tree. Mom loves it and wants to have it framed.