Numb

I'm feeling numb. Cut last night and again this morning to feel something. If I'm not feeling numb, I'm feeling depressed, which is close to the same thing. Feeling lost, alone. I feel as if the love I have for people needs validation. I tell my parents I love them and they ask, "What are you up to?"

I just want to curl in bed and forget the world today. I'm so fed up with everything.

I went over the same place too many times when I cut, which I don't do normally. Now its deeper then the usual superficial cuts, so I have to watch it carefully today. God, I'm so stupid. Can't I be irresponcible and play hooky from work today?