Work Days

First off, to Scottie, I wish to express a few words. I do not mind your advice or counsel. Its not wise for one to rely solely upon their own understanding, counsel. Only seeing one side of the issue means you are not able to fully see, thus providing a skewed path.

Now to the blog thingy...

Yesterday, I had the great joy (note sarcasm) of having to be placed in front of a tribunal and told that I get overly frustrated at work. They wanted to know what was bothering me, why I felt as I did and to actually write a statement to the effect of such. I felt over powered and out numbered. Three supervisors against one associate? There was an assistant manager, my direct supervisor (both male) and one female supervisor. Three against one is not fair odds and when all three are supervisors, I felt out gunned, so to speak. I had to sit down, placing myself in a lower position. All in all, I felt overwhelmed. I stopped talking and made an attempt to calm down which amounted to an incredible failure and a minor panic attack.

I don't think I would have panicked had I been allowed to stand. If you are going to hand me disgrace, at least give me the dignity of accepting such on my own two feet. They wanted me to write a statement and I flatly refused, saying that I was not going to write under duress and while upset. They would have to wait for an official report.

The only one that even remotely seemed to give rat's fuzzy little ass was my supervisor. He kept trying to see if I was all right, finally telling me to take an long break if I felt the need. I took five minutes, tried to calm down and finally burned in the restroom. I had to set my head straight. The panic attack is what did me in. I understand that it "wasn't worth injuring for". Always seems to be the line I'm given. Half the time I feel as though my emotions need validation or explanation to others. "I feel like this because of that". The explanations can be tedious, and annoying. I seem to not be allowed certain emotions. Well, not allowed without certain criteria being met.

Oh my, I forgot a few things for Scottie. To answer one of your pointed questions: No, I can never recall being happy or completely healthy minded, if indeed there is such a thing. Much of work is influenced by my emotions. So, I guess the only way of knowing what will happen is to follow through, wait and see.