So far, this is turning out to be one of those days. I call them "Forced Days". You know the ones, where you can't seem to be able to do the most simple things. Getting out of bed, taking a shower and getting dressed in something other then pajamas takes an extraordinary amount of effort. I know I should eat breakfast, but I cannot be bothered with it today. I have to write a few resumes and start sending those to companies today. Who knows?
What I know is that its getting harder and harder these past couple of days not to injure. I burned the other day, and that "helped" in some way. I hate that my brain attaches physical pain as a way to cope with emotional pain and distress. Emotionally I feel a mess.
This is not forever, things will work out, I'll find a job. I have to keep telling myself that. I have to... or else I'll start cutting and burning and only stop when I feel nothing.
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