"You Don't Deserve It"

At least, that's what the therapist says. Anger is something I always have to deal with, not easy. I tend to turn such an emotion onto myself in an effort to protect others. My arms tell the story of loosing my temper. I grew up with the phrase, "good girls don't loose their temper, good girls are ladies, good girls don't shout." To this day, I think those same things every time I loose my temper. It only makes it worse.

The thing is, sometimes I feel that I do deserve it, every single scar. Lost my temper, failed at whatever, lost jobs, no money, over stressing when I should be calm. I don't process anger well, so I tend to injure when I loose that temper. I know that its self punishment. Logically, I realize that I don't deserve it, but you try arguing with my subconcious.

This was the topic today, but I feel it should be gone further into at a later date.