Mix

So I sent a blog to Dr B, "Partial Suicide". We'll see how I handle that discussion. Its going to be hard because I'll have to confront my self harm in a harsh light. "My self harm" I've said that before and I'll say it again, though it seems strange to me. Self injury is different for each person that engages it. Some injure to escape emotional pain, some because pain is all they've known. For all its similarities, self harm is different.

Right now, for instance, I'm scared out of my mind to talk openly about self injury to a face. I know it has to be done, which is why I won't run from it, but it doesn't mean that I have to like it. It doesn't mean that after the chat I won't burn in the car, or cut when I get home. It means that I will be brave and talk about the worst possible part of myself. Even now, I'm edgy, but I think that is just my current "normal". I'm back to hardly sleeping at night, only getting a good rest after 1am. Oh well... I'll deal the best I can, like I always do.