I am so tired of everything. I don't want to bother with any of it anymore. My brain is screaming for release and I have only one way to appease it. Injure or cry. One leaves scars that last a lifetime. The other? Hell, I can't remember how to cry anymore.
That's not exactly true. Last week I felt so overwhelmed that my system had a mild meltdown. I came home from work, went to my room, and cried until my head was splitting. Did I feel better? Did my brain release hormones to counter the stress? NO! All I got in return was a damned head ache. Where do these yuppies get that crying helps?
Maybe I'm not normal, maybe there is something wrong with me. Hell, that's a given. Of course there's something wrong with me. I cut, I burn, I hit myself. Normal people don't do those things. If they do, they must be better actors then anyone in Hollywood.
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