Mom said yesterday that the house is too small, that we need more space for when my niece and nephew come to visit. The solution? Put the niece in my room! Oh, of course, why did I not think of this? That would be because we tried that once before and I had to sneak into my own room, and barely move all night so she wouldn't wake up. I am beyond sick of bending to the will of everyone else. For fuck's sake! If I could afford to move out, I would, in a heart beat, but since I can't I'm stuck with allowing everyone to do what they want to me. Feel like a victim, violated for what they wanted and left to deal with the aftermath.
I have to get rid of things I've had for years, because Mom thinks I'm too cluttered. She doesn't want me to become a hoarder. I could fucking shoot TLC for showing that programme. Now she thinks that I am weak and incapable of anything! FUCK!!! I mean really, I am stronger then she ever was. I have never allowed a person to beat on me without delivering more then I got. I handle my own issues, I cope as well as I can and that usually involves blades or flames. But damned if I deserve being treated like an idiot or a mental case!
I mean hell, I am this close to just giving in and telling her to do whatever she wants. Don't bother asking me anything because you aren't going to care what I want anyway. One day, she'll see that all the strength she empowered me with was a bad idea because I am going to snap and freak out on her.
No comments:
Post a Comment