Had therapy yesterday. I mentioned it and thought, "Wow, how sad is that?" I realized that I am truly myself when no one else is awake. Before anyone gets up, I can enjoy my coffee and chat online, I can write my block and read my books, I can make jewelry and knit all without having my parents making a fuss or getting in the way. I can wear tanks in the early morning without worrying about my scars. I can chat with my friends without my parents, specifically my mother, telling me to be careful and that those people are only out to get me. I know them better then that.
I feel free in the early morning and late evening. When I am alone, I can be who I am not some actor on a stage. I don't have to put on a happy face and smile though it hurts. Its so hard, exhausting to act all damned day. My only freedom is in the small hours of the morning or evening.
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