I have a new therapist that I will be seeing for the first time this Friday. I'm wanting to go because of the self injury, but I'm not sure if I'm ready to give up injury. I know it sounds weird, but si has become my go-to drug of choice. Some people smoke, some drink, others get high. I injure when too many negative emotions pile up, I implode by going inside myself then explode by way of hurting myself.
I know all the facts about what I do, when and why and I know its bad for me, but leaving it behind is scary. Once I have left it all behind, there is no one that will support me. Not off line anyway. I feel so alone in this.
The best therapist won't make you give it up, instead they will give you the skills you need to choose to live without it, or to carry on. I'll be leaving therapy in a month, after nearly 8 years in the system and over a decade of illness, and my therapist openly admits, there may be occassions in the future where I do self harm, but rather than it being default, unavoidable, it is a choice I can make, because I now have skills to cope in other ways. Thats what I think therapy should give you, the chance to make that choice.
ReplyDelete