Numb and Alone

So I'm in a support chat for self harm. I say that I'm feeling numb and urgy, no one says a damned thing and starts talking about shoes! SHOES?!?!

I don't just say things to say them! I felt that I needed to talk, but no! There is less and less support in that chat lately. Its not easy for me to say anything especially when I need something. I'm tired, I'm stressed, angry, numb, urgy. Being ignored isn't what I needed.

Almost tempted to pull a Patch Adams. There's a scene where Patch is talking to his therapist, who is ignoring him. Patch tells him, "And then I decided to use my penis as a po-go stick until I realized that it wasn't a good mode of transportation." I'm so tempted to say that so often, to so many people. But there are two reasons why, 1) its a bit rude, 2) I do not, in fact, have a penis.

I see Doc tomorrow, I'll hang out till then, hopefully.