I've felt like hell for a longtime. Not sleeping well, not eating correctly, not exercising, hearing or seeing things that aren't there. In short, I've been one messed up chick and I hated every damn minute of it. The other day, though, something dawned on me.
My mom said that she hadn't slept well. I said, "Oh? That's lousy. I actually slept ok." Then BANG it hit me, I've been sleeping fine for the past couple of weeks, no nightmares! Actually, I've had a couple of dreams that were geeky awesome (including one in which myself and Tony Stark had a water fight). Its nice to sleep without the nightmares haunting me.
Honestly, it feels kind of strange to feel GOOD. I've felt so bad for so long that to feel okay is different and weird to me. No medications. No therapy, not really any way. Dr B was nice and all, but I felt we weren't making progress, though that could have been because I was unable to go frequently. In a way it scares me because I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop, so to speak, but I think I'm just going to try and enjoy this.
I haven't injured in about three weeks and that's something. For a while there I couldn't go more then a week without injury. I'm not going to say that I'm cured, no more so than an alcoholic that doesn't drink anymore. He's still an alcoholic, he just doesn't drink. I'll always be an injurer, just choose not to injure.
No comments:
Post a Comment